Friday, June 5, 2009

Porn 101

If they show films in this class, I would guess it might make for some embarrassment in the passing period to the next class. A lot of guys walking across the quad holding their backpacks in front of their pants.



This episode allowed me to flaunt my film-geek knowledge. I actually use cinematic semiotics in the construction of these clips. For example, if I want Brad to appear weak, I use the shot from behind Lily that makes her look like she's towering over him. And yes, Mr. Weinstein, I am available to direct features.

Hey, check out my cool new desktop image that I illegally downloaded from the site of the amazing Mark Ryden. I hope Mark is cool with that. Maybe if he sells a painting from this plug he'll let it slide. BTW -- this paragraph is a complete non sequitor. I don't mean to imply any connection between Mark's work and porn. Seriously, Mark's work is brilliant -- porn is not.

This isn't even one of my favorite paintings. But it was one of the few on his site that offered a hi-res version that could kinda work as a desktop image. (This is the low-res.) It's still a bit blurry on my desktop, but I like it.

The script is in the comments.

3 comments:

Jeremy said...

I doubt it's that shallow. They have the adult movie awards, so there are obviously people who sit and analyse the movies...

Dave Stratton said...

Brad: I just read about a university in Taiwan that offers a course in the appreciation and analysis of pornographic movies.

Lily: I imagine there is a lot of appreciation, but I can’t imagine much analysis.

Brad: I’m sure there’s much to learn about the semiotics of the cinematic tropes commonly employed in the “filthy first-timers” genre.

Lily: Well they are certainly filled with phallic symbols that demand analysis.

Brad: I don’t think you can call something a phallic symbol if it’s actually a phallus.

Lily: You’re probably right. Do you think it’s an easy A?

Brad: No way. Just think, you’d have to watch all those porn movies all the way through. I’ve never watched a porn movie all the way through.

Lily: Yeah, they’re pretty bad.

Brad: Sure, that’s why.

Lily: I wonder if the course covers any of the practical aspects in the art and science of making porno, such as cinematography, lighting, set design, costuming, script writing, drug procurement, tattoo concealment, upholstery protection, spot removal...

Brad: I don’t think it’s a hands-on class.

Lily: Oh, I’ll bet when they get to the appreciation part, it’s very hands-on.

Red Pill Junkie said...

The only sign that I'm beginning to get old is not in my distaste of modern music, but in my distaste for modern porn!

Seriously, I prefer the 70's-80's stuff, when not everyone could grab a camera and start filming some young couple doing their version of the horizontal mambo.