Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Italian Models

Last week I asked DI fans to challenge me by submitting two unrelated topics that I would have to combine into a single episode. Frequent commenter Red Pill Junkie came through with two such news stories. Here's what I did with them.

Simply linking the two stories wasn't that tough. The real challenge was doing that while maintaining my high standards of semi-funny comedy. I hope I succeeded.

Here's the alleged couple. The Prime Minister is 72 and the model is 18. By the commonly accepted European formula for calculating the ideal age of a mistress (divide the man's age by two and add six), Noemi is about 24 years too young for him. She's even too young for me. I'd tell you my ideal mistress age, but I'm afraid of my wife.

The script is in the comments.


Red Pill Junkie said...

I tip my hat to you, sir.

Flawless join of two completely unrelated news; plus the final punchline was brilliant. :)

Dave Stratton said...

Brad: I just read that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has promised to resign if he’s lying about his relationship with an 18 year old model named Noemi Letizia.

Lily: So is he having an affair with her?

Brad: Well, his wife, who is dragging him through a messy divorce, says he is, and he went to her eighteenth birthday party and gave her a nice gold necklace.

Lily: I find it hard to believe that a powerful world leader like that would risk everything for a young model. Can you imagine an American President doing anything like that?

Brad: Not with a model. A Hollywood actress, a White House intern or a National Security Adviser maybe. But have you seen this Italian model? She’s quite adorable.

Lily: I’m still not buying it, that’s just too far fetched for me.

Brad: I don’t think it’s that far fetched. Not like the California Supreme Court upholding the gay marriage ban. Not like that story of an extraterrestrial deliberately crashing his UFO into a meteor to save the earth. Now that’s far fetched.

Lily: Who’s saying that?

Brad: A Russian scientist named Yuri Labvin says it was the cause of the Tunguska event, a huge blast in nineteen oh eight that knocked down all the trees in a hundred square mile area of Siberia.

Lily: That is far fetched. Why would an E.T. sacrifice his own life for the human race?

Brad: Maybe he got a good look at our 18 year old Italian models.