Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Easy Resolutions

New Years resolutions are a danger to your self esteem and should be used with extreme caution. If you make a resolution that you fail to keep, you'll just end up feeling bad about yourself, and you would have been better off not even making one. The trick is to keep your expectations low and your resolutions easy. That way you have a better chance of experiencing a sense of accomplishment rather than failure.

For example, say you resolve to lose twenty pounds. A fine goal for many of us. But then you fail to go to the gym the way you meant to, so no weight comes off. Feeling like a failure, you turn to comfort foods and gain fifteen pounds. You see, you're much better off just resolving to start wearing sweatpants everywhere.

I'm sure you can think of even easier (and funnier) resolutions than were in the clip. Let's hear them. The funniest "easy resolutions" posted to the comments section will appear in the comments section below.


patrick said...

I resolve to avoid twittering while having sex with Jennifer Anniston.

munchy365 said...

I resolve not to make any new year's resolutions.

BlueRaja said...

I resolve not to post any more comments on Deadpan Inc.

Mel2 said...

I resolve not to sign any gym contracts that are longer than 3 months. (short-term, measurable goals, right?)

I resolve to limit my murder sprees to my imagination only, not reality.

I resolve not to get caught reading blogs during work hours.

Mel2 said...

One more (and this is actually one of mine): I resolve not to get more than a week behind on my page-a-day calendar.