Supercollider Problems

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving Day. How about that Macy's parade? Wasn't that something? Al Roker did a great job, as usual. And how about that professional football game? That one play really blew me away.



Okay, I confess. I wrote this earlier in the week so I could eat and drink myself into a stupor yesterday without worrying about getting this done.

See you on Monday.

Thanksgiving 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!



Deadpan Inc. isn't just about sharing my semi-funny videos with you. Well, mostly it is. But sometimes it provides an important public service function. If you're going to deep fry your turkey this year, please check out this video from Underwriters Laboratories first.

Quitter Doctors

Hey, Deadpan Inc. fans -- notice anything different? The officemates are in a new location. They're not where they seem to be, however. You'll see.

I try not to let the quirks of the authoring program drive the humor. These characters will never comment on their robotic voices or how there's no one else in the office, and there's a fart noise I could use that I promise I never will. (If I ever use the fart noise, you'll know I jumped the shark.) Their comments on this location come dangerously close to breaking my rule. Oh well. I am a rule breaker. A maverick, if you will.



I wouldn't blame you if you didn't turn on your computer tomorrow. There'll probably be turkey to eat, football to watch and family members to alienate. But if you do sneak away get your DI fix, it'll be here for you.

Travel safely.

Cardboard Baby Cribs

I just realized this title could be misleading. It's about cribs that are made out of cardboard, not cribs for cardboard babies. Just wanted to clarify.

As tacky as these may be, they must be safer than conventional cribs. Every time I check the news, there's another recall of baby cribs. It seems that all conventional cribs are designed by mad baby-haters so that they will fall apart and strangle your child. Can't something be done to keep baby haters out of the crib business?



Mucho thanks to my new BFF Dan Piraro of Bizarro fame for featuring Deadpan Inc. on his highly enertaining blog. At the risk of embarrassing Dan, I have to say that he has been one of my comedy heroes for years, so hearing he liked my work was quite a treat.

BarackBerry

Speaking of technology, a lot of people have been asking how I do these. The application is available in beta at www.xtranormal.com. I'm not thrilled about giving up my secret sauce, but it couldn't be avoided for much longer. They're starting to slap their logo on the end of each clip.

I can't complain -- it is free.



You start by choosing from a small library of locations and characters; then you type in your script. The software handles the mouth movements, and then you insert pauses, body movements and different camera angles wherever you like. You can also let the progam choose your camera angles for you, but I could never give up that control.

Hopefully, before long, people will stop asking "How do you do that?" and start asking "How to you keep bringing the semi-funny?" (Assuming I can keep bringing the semi-funny...) Keep watching this week for special Thanksgiving and Black Friday episodes.

Double Arm Transplant

I don't really have anything to add to this clip, so I'll just remind you that I welcome your feedback on these postings, or any aspect of my life for that matter. Of course, adoring, even fawning, feedback is preferable to the "constructive" kind. You can show me some love with a comment below or by emailing me at david dot stratton at sbcglobal dot en ee tee.



Despite what I said about "constructive" feedback, if you have an alternate punchline to any of my posts that you think will make me laugh, please send it. I like to laugh.

What do you think the German farmer is looking forward to most? Put your answer in the phrase "dressing himself, riding his motorcycle and (blank)." Whoever sends me the funniest answer will have his or her name featured in an upcoming Deadpan Inc. episode. What a treat that will be.

Lucid Dreaming

Since I first heard of it, I have been fascinated by the idea of lucid dreaming. I usually have a good time in my dreams, and the ability to take control of them sure is appealing. Apparently, some people can put themselves into the lucid dreaming state at will, every night. That would be awesome.



I know I have had at least one prolonged lucid dream that I could remember. It involved flying around like Superman. Holly Hunter did not make an appearance.