Faux Big Brother

People actually volunteer to be on Big Brother? Why would anyone want to do that? I always thought it was some kind of home confinement program for minor criminals.

Epileptic Gender Confusion

This story made me think of that Shania Twain song "I Feel Like a Woman." How does she normally feel? Is she playing "The Crying Game" with us?



BTW -- if you've never seen the movie "The Crying Game" and want to IMDB it because you don't get the reference, be wary of a pretty big spoiler.

Cirque du Espace

Here's an episode especially for my French Canadian friends. I know it sounds like I'm making fun of the Cirque folks, but I'm actually a fan.



I finished this and then realized Lily should have been referring to Cosmonauts, not Astronauts. Oh well, too late now.

Want to see the inspiration for one of the lines? Check out this clip. Elena Lev. I love her. This is some bad-ass hula hoop work. If you don't think hula hoop can be bad-ass, you haven't seen Elena. Look at her face when she starts: "Yeah, I'm working a hula hoop. STFU."

Eyes Up, Buster

Another scientific study that causes me to have deep respect for the writer of the grant proposal.



A lot of times I'll throw in a photo here to illustrate the story -- but I'm sure you'll be able to find an appropriate illustration somewhere online without my help.

Monkeyman Driver

Another true news story, this time from Phoenix. I once got one of those photo tickets in Phoenix. It's a weird feeling seeing yourself in the photo on the ticket -- like your privacy has been violated. I'm just glad I wasn't obviously singing along to the radio or stuffing a Hostess cupcake in my face.



Sorry if the end makes me sound like a cranky old fart who complains that nobody uses their turn signals anymore. (I am that guy.) I'm sure most people's initial response is "good for him, he's beating the system." But I share Lily's assessment of him.

Just a few days ago, a few blocks from my house, someone pulled out of a gas station right into the path of two people on a motorcycle, killing them both. This is exactly the kind of thing this ass is going to do. How clever will he feel explaining his scheme to the family of someone he kills. "I'm really sorry. I didn't see your son because I was wearing this mask to beat traffic tickets."

Here's a picture of this douchebag.

Bizarre Urinal Incident

The story you are about to hear is true. I couldn't make this up. In 99% of these episodes Brad is just a character -- he's not my alter-ego. But today he is. This actually happened to me.



If you have any clue what might have been going on, please leave a comment and let me know -- though I probably don't want to know if I was an unwitting participant in some kind of freaky public group perversion.

A Cheater's Punishment

Another true news item that could inspire a country song -- this time, surprisingly, not from Florida.



At first she wanted him to stay out there for a week, but she let him stop after just a few hours. Perhaps she too became aware of potential unintended consequences.