Record Setters

Here's another post on the subject of world records. I wish I could hold a world record in something so I could rise above this pathetic, meaningless existence.



Brad could try to best this Utah kid's record for having the most snails on his face. He got 43 on.


I'm going to call foul on this one because, like peppers in the eyes and scorpions in your mouth, it's not "a thing" as in "Is that a thing?" (A thing that people do apart from trying to set a record.) If anything can be the basis of a record, I just set the record for the most rubber bands on my left ear. (I almost said another body part, but that sounded a little too perverse. And I suspect that putting rubber bands there might actually be "a thing.") I just had three handy, so it might not hold up very long, but dammit I'm a record holder.