Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Homeless American Girl Doll

Shortest episode ever. Don't blink, or you'll miss it.

Is it tasteless to make fun of a product sold to benefit charities for the homeless? Yes, it would be -- but this isn't a fundraiser. It's just another product. How stupid is it of Mattel, the parent company, to come out with a homeless doll and not set aside at least part of the profits for homeless charities? Wow.

I'll give them props for trying to raise awareness of homelessness, but I think all the tent cities that are starting to pop up around the country will take care of that just fine.

Friday, September 25, 2009

200th Episode: Who is Khloe Kardashian?

Wow. 200 episodes. Tremendous accomplishment, or tremendous waste of time? I can't decide. Maybe both. I hope you've been entertained by one or two of them. To celebrate, I'm offering up a special two-part episode. Enjoy.

To all of you who have encouraged me these past months, thanks. I means a lot to me to hear from you and know someone is out there enjoying my little hobby. Today is also my birthday, so why not leave me the gift of a comment. Let me know about that special episode that helped you kick meth, leave the Republican Party, or whatever.

And thanks to those of you who offered suggestions for today's episode(s). I used ideas from Karl White, Reine Silverlight-Mallonee and King Rat to build this extravaganza. Thanks! (Sorry, Reine, I don't think they're ever going to get there.)

Hey, just noticed that Dan Piraro is talking about celebrity today too. I owe Dan a lot for getting this blog some attention in the early days. Thanks again, Dan.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Internet's Down

Here's an episode that came to me while trying to wake up on a Saturday morning -- not a time that typically produces profound thoughts.

Friday should be an exciting day. It's both my birthday and the scheduled posting of the 200th episode. I haven't written it yet, and I'd like it to be special -- so I'm open to suggestions. What's your favorite kind of episode? Is there something in the news I haven't covered but should have? Do you have a personal story you're willing to risk having Brad and Lily discuss? Please leave a comment and help me make the 200th one of the best ever.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Dumpster Party

I have trouble believing this story. Not that it happened, but that it happened in Kansas rather than Florida. Could this couple have moved from Florida to Kansas?

For those of you outside the U.S. who don't know who Glen Beck is, let me try to explain. He is a right-wing commentator on a faux "news" channel who believes the world is being run by a "New World Order" of a secret cabal of wealthy families who control liberal politicians and the mainstream media in order to turn the U.S. into a facist, socialist, communist state so they can...I've lost the train of thought. It's really hard to follow. He claims it's all in some book by another Mormon crackpot who was laughed out of the conservative movement decades ago. He is often moved to tears on national television about this nonsense.

It would all be completely laughable if people weren't showing up at Presidential events heavily armed. And for some reason, that's legal in this country. You can't bring a gun on a plane (yet), but you can bring loaded weapons to a Presidential address, no problem. To quote Yakov Smirnoff, "what a country."

Friday, September 18, 2009

Faux Big Brother

People actually volunteer to be on Big Brother? Why would anyone want to do that? I always thought it was some kind of home confinement program for minor criminals.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Epileptic Gender Confusion

This story made me think of that Shania Twain song "I Feel Like a Woman." How does she normally feel? Is she playing "The Crying Game" with us?

BTW -- if you've never seen the movie "The Crying Game" and want to IMDB it because you don't get the reference, be wary of a pretty big spoiler.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Cirque du Espace

Here's an episode especially for my French Canadian friends. I know it sounds like I'm making fun of the Cirque folks, but I'm actually a fan.

I finished this and then realized Lily should have been referring to Cosmonauts, not Astronauts. Oh well, too late now.

Want to see the inspiration for one of the lines? Check out this clip. Elena Lev. I love her. This is some bad-ass hula hoop work. If you don't think hula hoop can be bad-ass, you haven't seen Elena. Look at her face when she starts: "Yeah, I'm working a hula hoop. STFU."

Friday, September 11, 2009

Eyes Up, Buster

Another scientific study that causes me to have deep respect for the writer of the grant proposal.

A lot of times I'll throw in a photo here to illustrate the story -- but I'm sure you'll be able to find an appropriate illustration somewhere online without my help.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Monkeyman Driver

Another true news story, this time from Phoenix. I once got one of those photo tickets in Phoenix. It's a weird feeling seeing yourself in the photo on the ticket -- like your privacy has been violated. I'm just glad I wasn't obviously singing along to the radio or stuffing a Hostess cupcake in my face.

Sorry if the end makes me sound like a cranky old fart who complains that nobody uses their turn signals anymore. (I am that guy.) I'm sure most people's initial response is "good for him, he's beating the system." But I share Lily's assessment of him.

Just a few days ago, a few blocks from my house, someone pulled out of a gas station right into the path of two people on a motorcycle, killing them both. This is exactly the kind of thing this ass is going to do. How clever will he feel explaining his scheme to the family of someone he kills. "I'm really sorry. I didn't see your son because I was wearing this mask to beat traffic tickets."

Here's a picture of this douchebag.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Bizarre Urinal Incident

The story you are about to hear is true. I couldn't make this up. In 99% of these episodes Brad is just a character -- he's not my alter-ego. But today he is. This actually happened to me.

If you have any clue what might have been going on, please leave a comment and let me know -- though I probably don't want to know if I was an unwitting participant in some kind of freaky public group perversion.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Cheater's Punishment

Another true news item that could inspire a country song -- this time, surprisingly, not from Florida.

At first she wanted him to stay out there for a week, but she let him stop after just a few hours. Perhaps she too became aware of potential unintended consequences.